Score: 5

"Goodbye"

submission: Red Moon

date: April 23, 2009

I am currently listening to John Lennon sing "Stand by Me." I declare this infinitely derivative side-scrolling to be the last Flash Game that I ever play. I've been doing this crap for years, and have finally realized that futility of trying to maintain this potential-draining lifestyle any longer. It's been a great run, Newgrounds, and I may miss you at some point, but it's all for the best.

Oh, and stop making games about samurais. They weren't that cool; they became those horrible Yakuza.

Score: 9

"Nice, Bra."

submission: Twilight: The Broodening

date: March 24, 2009

I love how you skewer Stephanie Meyer's writing style throughout this spoof.
Quick English lesson, boys and girls- YOU DON'T NEED TO FOLLOW EVERY SINGLE NOUN WITH AND ADJECTIVE, OR EVERY VERB WITH AN ADVERB.
Oh, and the rest of it was funny, too. :P

Also, it doesn't matter what myths are true about vampires or not because they AREN'T REAL. Not even those psi-vamps. "Oh, I can tell what other people are feeling! I must be a vampire!" No, seriously, who came up with that crap? How does that even make sense!? You wanna talk about disregarding vampire lore...

That, my friend, is more F-bombed up than a sparkly person.

Score: 6

"It was alright..."

submission: Jigsaw

date: October 29, 2008

The voice acting, music and artwork were stellar.
I don't mean to be a spoilsport, but if the person was deaf, why was he able to speak so clearly?
Also, I feel like the "flash cards" thing took the punchline further than it was able to go. It's like having sex- any "movement" immediately after the "climax" is kind of "painful". We've already been told that this man is deaf (whether we believe him or not)- belaboring the point adds nothing to the funny.

Score: 10

"LOL"

submission: Rucklo - Drunk

date: March 23, 2009

The out of tune piano really emphasizes a drunken stagger, as do the slight "hiccups" in the string section rythym. A nice piece, which suits "How I Buy Petrol?" to a T. Great job!